I swear, if you have ANY taste in music and you like these washed down cock-slides, you fail TOTALLY at life. First off, Oli Sykes needs to be impaled. Just because your music video has a clear drum set, doesn't change the fact that your music BLOWS MORE DICK than a 24 hour marathon of gay porn. Can these guys write one song without a breakdown? No. Can these guys write decent riffs? No. Can these guys get a good vocalist for once? No. Because this ENTIRE band sucks. Not ONE good thing about them. Everything sucks. Disagree and your dead to me.
THIS BAND SUCKS.
I'm keeping this short because they are totally talentless.
The above literary gem can be found on the NYC based music website Skull N Bones. The author, quite evidently is a troubled soul, possibly with learning difficulties and in possession of a latent homosexuality that he has yet to embrace, I bet you would like to impale Mr Sykes, nudge nudge, in your end o. The sexual orientation of Chris (I’m assuming the snarly one in the picture) is relevant to my first point only to highlight the reason so many…lets say…traditional metal fans have a problem with BMTH. You see these boys from Rotherham don’t look like a metal band and the fans that turn up to their gigs in the main don’t either, so the uniform is all wrong and that means they must all be gay and not metal at all right? So the music must be without merit right? Well no actually and with the fear of being “dead” to young Chris I have to disagree completely. If he can just open up his tiny little blinkered mind a little he might appreciate that they represent a new but equally justified part of the wider metal fraternity where many sub genres should but unfortunately rarely coexist happily together. They have talent and humour and despite the skinny jeans and plimsolls crushingly heavy riffs. They are not afraid to experiment, being open to other musical styles (dubstep remixes etc) and if Chris and his ilk were as well (open minded that is) the metal scene might not be so fractured and fragmented as it is at the moment.
Our angry friend finishes his article by stating that BMTH are “talentless” and this brings me on to my second point. Music critics and metal reviewers in particular are dancing on thin ice as soon as they start tapping away on the keyboard, who are these people anyway, are they retired musicians with a wealth of knowledge and experience or are they authors that have a string of best selling novels to their name?. No it would be closer to suggest that the average music reviewer is about the lowest of the low, not being able to play, sing or write well enough to do anything other than comment on other peoples efforts, therefore if this grubby profession is to have any standing within the music community at all the output should be of the highest order. How can Skull N Bones allow a piece like that to be published at all, either there are no standards applied at all or, and I think this is closer to the truth, the target audience are the same retarded souls that leave obscene comments below most Youtube videos. Surely music which is the highest art form of them all should have a literary movement that at least attempts to aim as high as possible in its chosen craft, and that means the writing should try to be good regardless of the quality of music being discussed. Catering for the lowest common denominator was a phenomenon of the previous decade with the internet allowing access to anyone to put content up. Music sites and blogs are everywhere now but the trick for the next ten years will be to match the quality of the writing with the wonderfully diverse music that is it`s subject. This will free up more time for Chris and allow him to concentrate on his own natural talent, that of dribbling.
